Life, you've been going so good don't fall apart now.

I don't know what to do right now. I don't know where things are going with me and Logan. I want him with me right now. Im scared. I want to cry. Mommy doesn't feel well. She went to the hospital. She says it's nothing major but I know shes lying just so I wont over racked. I want someone to hold on to right now. Two of my best friends just left today for a band field trip. So I don't have them around to talk to. I do have Rowan to talk to still. But I just want a guy to be here for me right now. I'm feeling this sadness take over my heart right now and I dont like it. I want my mom to tell me what's wrong. I wan her to get better. I don't want to lose her. She's lik one of my best friends. I love her. T-T don't leave me.

I'm sorry it's so long. I just gotta get rid off some anger emotions

I know I haven’t been on in a while…really haven’t had anything to talk about :/ but after today I do. So I think I mentioned my anger issue. Well today I was about to lose it and I actually had to walk away from the bitch just because I knew if I was there for like another second she would be on the ground. Ok I’ll tell you the back ground story and my point of view so you can see where I’m coming from. Imma just call this girl Bitch cause I don’t have a fake name for her and that pretty much describes her.

Ok so this was like either last week or the week before:

We were at our last tennis game and we were just sitting around wile a couple games were going on. So Bitch brings up a family matter of a good friend of mine (actually one of my best friends)**Rowan**. Now I didn’t know how she found out about this family matter because only close friends knew and I knew Bitch and Rowan aren’t close friends…maybe their friends but not close friends. Anyway, I found out later how she heard about it…another girl told her (WHO WASN’T SUPPOSED TO SAY ANYTHING IN THE FIRST PLACE) So let me get back on subject, so Bitch brought it up and I told her calmly and nicely:
Me: “umm that’s a family matter and I don’t think we should be talking about it”
Bitch: “well I heard it from ******** so I don’t really think its not a big deal”
Now other people of our tennis team are hearing this…
Another Girl: “what happened???”
Me: “no offence or anything like I would tell you but I REALLY don’t thing we should talk about it, it is a family matter”
Now the other girls under stood were I was coming from but UGH Bitch here needs to piss me off!
She told me off OVER TEXT saying things like “Why you talking trash about me. Your so full of shit…..” BLAH BLAH BLAH!
Any way I was pissed at that time but im trying to work on my anger so I let it go. It was hard for me to do it but I let it go.

Now today:

We sat at the same table as her…and since I let it go I was acting nice and everything to her like talking to her. Then she tells me she wants to talk…I knew she was going to bring it up. So I said sure and thinking we would just talk at the table but noooo she wants to talk out side the cafeteria.
Bitch: “ok what is your problem!”
Me: “what did I do!? I didn’t do shit!”
Bitch: “you are going around telling people I’m talking shit! About Rowan‘s sister”
Me: “I only told Rowan what you said at tennis! She talked to ******** about it and she told you! So only us know but you going around telling everyone!!!”
Bitch: “I never said that shit!”
Now I’m pissed….I’m pasted pissed….I just wanted to kill her!
Me: “I’M DONE I’M NOT LISTENING TO YOUR BILL SHIT ANY MORE!”
I walked away. Now be proud of me for walking away at least….cause I when I went back into the lunch room I told my friend Shawnee that I was leaving the cafeteria…she follows me. Lets put it this why I was sooooo fuckin pissed off my hand was shacking like mad! And Shawnee saw and even said “I have never seen you this pissed off before”

The point of this story…DON’T PISS ME OFF!!!!!